Today is a new day! And I'm starting out on a positive note!

There is a positive to my life right now, and that's Chris.

I'm making a list of 100 Reasons why I love him. I encourage everyone do this with someone they love, whether it be a child or a significant other, or a parent. It helps me remember, especially during those times when everything is bad.

Here's the partial list, I'll add to it until I reach 100

1. He's a human being.
2. He's God's special gift to me.
3. He spent his giftcard on me, when he was unemployed, so he can take me out on my birthday.
4. He tells me the truth.
5. He read my Twitter and he didn't tell me I was a fcukin' nutcase.
6. He DOESN'T have Twitter, FB, Xanga, or most importantly, HE DOESN'T JOURNAL.
7. We never fight. We never recycle fights. We have a short memory of each other's wrongs.
8. We go out, A LOT.
9. I'm proud to be seen with him in public.
10. He thinks Yelpers are wacko.
11. He went with me to Hong Kong Plaza, LOL, and he was there while I ate Stinky Tofu.
12. He gave me a ride to the airport.
13. He returns my calls.
14. He goes to my meetups because he knows it's important to me.
15. He goes karaoke with me, even though he doesn't sing.
16. He volunteered at Habitat for Humanity with me.
17. He loves Thai food, even if it's just Pad See Ew.
18. He texts me all the time.
19. He likes Asians.
20. He makes fun of the girls who respond to his Plenty of Fish profile.
21. He's smarter than me.
22. He can fix things.
23.
24. He's loyal to his friends.
25. He tells really bad racist jokes.
26. He loves Vegas.
27. He's obsessively clean.
28. He drives a Honda Accord.
29. He calls his dad and his mom sends him homemade quilts.
30. He can't get drunk and he's always designated driver.
31. He likes the Tiki Ti.
32. He told me I could make money off of my food blog. ahahahaha.
33. He takes me to Oktoberfest.
34. He doesn't drink scotch or tequila. He drinks vodka.
35. He has a pet snail. He has pictures of his pet snail.

1. What did you do in 2009 1/2 that you'd never done before?
I rode the Metro Rail! I sang at a karaoke bar. I drank at a Tiki Bar.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn't make any new resolutions but I didn't keep the ones from the year before. I didn't stay out of useless flamewars. I didn't avoid dealing with dipshits in general. The best thing to do on the internet AND in real life is to ignore. Life is too short. Unless you have to work with the sh*thead, but that's what vodka is for.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope, but two were close.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. But I did visit the South, something I've never done before.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
I want to get a job. I want to get married or at least be engaged. Yep. That's right. You heard, or should I say read, it here first.

7. What date from 2009 1/2 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I met the love of my life. Thank you God, he is gorgeous.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Yeah, it's pathetic but my relationship with Chris is the most awesome, meaningful achievement of my life. I kid you not, and not because he's the most awesome person on the planet, but for once, FOR ONCE, my life seems to make sense and have a purpose. FOR ONCE, and I'm not exaggerating, I feel like I'm perfectly aligned with God's will.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My biggest failure is that I let my emotions get the best of me. I've seen enough of the world where I should be hardened and calloused but sometimes I soften up and let things get to me.
I shouldn't react to people. People are @$$holes. No, and don't tell me to watch my language, I'm telling the truth. People are horrible. They are wicked. They do evil for no reason. They are worse than rabid dogs. They will bite the hand that feeds them with no provocation. Then they will piss and poop your entrails. They are that bad.
I should love them anyways BUT I should never forget what they are. I should love them because God says to love them. No more, no less.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Food poisoning a few times, got really, really sick.

11. What were the best things you bought?
???

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine!

13. Whose behavior appalled you?
Oh geez... where do I begin? I'll be honest and say that I've been appalled at my behavior a few times. I really, really have to watch my temper.


14. Where did most of your money go?
Dates! It has been worth it.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My first date with Chris, really, really, really excited.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
???

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Both. It's weird, I'll explain later.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
???

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wish I spent less money.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Dunno, most likely with Chris.

21. How will you be spending New Years?
See #20

22. Did you fall in love in 2009 1/2?
Yes. I did. Truly. Madly. Deeply.

23. How many one-night stands?
heehee

24. What was your favorite TV program?
???

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes. I hate a lot of people. Sorry, it's true.

26. What was the best book you read?
Bible

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
???

28. What did you want and get?
see #8

29. What did you want and not get?
???

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Transformers 2 and I thought it sucked.

31. What did you do on your birthday?
I was on a date with Chris at California Shabu Shabu then Auld Dubliner and Alex's Bar. It was the best night of my life! It was the best birthday present ever!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I didn't lose my cool and be a bitch online. Honestly, that was a reflection of my shortcomings, not theirs. If I forgave people faster and just let it be. Lately, I seem to have a hard time letting things go. I'm more bitter this year. I don't know why.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
thin is in!


34. What kept you sane?
My church lifegroup, they have been a beam of light in a very spirtually, dreary year.


35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None.


36. Who did you miss?


37. Who was the best new person you met?
so many.



38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009 1/2.
It was April, around my birthday, I felt I've been back stabbed and betrayed by a million people just a few days later. I sought out my church friends, they were nowhere to be found. I sought out people I've lavished with kindness, they were gone too. My family was too caught up with sickness to care about me.

I felt utterly, destitutely, alone.

All year, and the year before, I gave, and gave, and gave. Whether it was friendship, money, my time, my service, gifts, lunches... I had time now, I went to everything. I accepted every invitation. I dated a lot of guys and they all ended up in failure. Martin, whom I relied on for so long, was nothing but a judgmental, condescending prick in my side. My church lifegroup, see #34, had forgotten my birthday. My mother, one of my great anchors and strongholds in my life, was withering away to her death.

It felt like a glimpse to my future. It was desolute. I didn't feel suicidal, but I think I died inside. I gave up. I went through the motions but didn't feel anything. I barely had the energy to cry to God about my unfair life was and how I hated him. I showed him how I was faithful, I had faithfully given to others, because I trusted in His Word and he failed me. Everyone failed me.

Then I got an email from Chris (who contacted me 4 months earlier on dating site) and he asked me out ON MY BIRTHDAY. He had no idea it was my bday and no idea that everyone had forgot. He had gotten laid off and he wanted to start dating again. He was GORGEOUS, but it wasn't that (okay, it did help) I recognized right away for what he was: a gift from God. It was God's way of telling me he had plans for me, that he did care about my thoughts, that he did remember it was my birthday. GOD PROVIDED FOR ME. This story is a testament to what I preach, that GOD ALWAYS PROVIDES.

So here we were, two misfits, down and out in life, and we had found each other by the mercy of God. God gave him to me so I wouldn't feel alone. I helped him get through a difficult time in his life and remind him that he is God's creation.
They say that every good and perfect gift is from above. Well, we're hardly perfect. If anyone knew half the story, we'd be burned at the stakes. But I look at our relationship, and it is indeed perfect. I can't explain it. We help each other. There have been numerous times when I said, "this is it, this is the dealbreaker, it was too good to last" only to have a miracle, and our relationship prospers. I don't think I could destroy it if I wanted to. That's how I know it's God's will.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"you on your job, you hatin' hard
ain't gon feed you, gon let you starve
Gaspin' for air, I'm ventilation
You out of breathe, hope you ain't waitin"